[ . . . . yeah. Senri will let that sit for a little bit, because it's easier. and he thinks about this - and how much he might still be keeping close to the chest. Sasuke practically know already, doesn't he... but it might feel a little bit different coming from Senri's mouth.
he closes his eyes and pulls his blanket closer around him. if sasuke will be quiet - he'll tell a story.]
.... Seanbon's never had a family. He told me... he made his wing out of what he thought it would look like, not because it was something he ever experienced. When I was there, I played family with some people too... Majima-san, Mizuki-san, Madopyon... I liked it a lot. But they still don't know everything about me. I don't know... if I'll get to tell them.
[ . . . ]
Seanbon doesn't like playing pretend games - that's what he told me. Even though pretend games is what I'm really good at. A musician, a writer, a sporty person - I spent a lot of time pretending to be things that I could be, but at the end of the day, I wasn't. It made me just as good with people off-stage as I was on-stage, if I could read them, and give them what they wanted. They would say nice things about me. They would remember me, for two seconds, for five minutes, for a few hours -
It was easier than admitting that in reality, I didn't have anyone. No friends who knew anything about me. No family. I came here because - I thought I could use a wish to find them. To find someone who would have to care about me unconditionally - no matter what lies I told, or... maybe even without any lies.
[and he presses his face into his knees, somewhere between embarrassed and ashamed]
It's so... stupid now... Everyone has amazing wishes - and maybe that's why... I want to make sure I don't win alone, that as many people can win as possible. I'm just too afraid to admit to everyone that I'm such a narrow-minded, selfish person.
no subject
he closes his eyes and pulls his blanket closer around him. if sasuke will be quiet - he'll tell a story.]
.... Seanbon's never had a family. He told me... he made his wing out of what he thought it would look like, not because it was something he ever experienced. When I was there, I played family with some people too... Majima-san, Mizuki-san, Madopyon... I liked it a lot. But they still don't know everything about me. I don't know... if I'll get to tell them.
[ . . . ]
Seanbon doesn't like playing pretend games - that's what he told me. Even though pretend games is what I'm really good at. A musician, a writer, a sporty person - I spent a lot of time pretending to be things that I could be, but at the end of the day, I wasn't. It made me just as good with people off-stage as I was on-stage, if I could read them, and give them what they wanted. They would say nice things about me. They would remember me, for two seconds, for five minutes, for a few hours -
It was easier than admitting that in reality, I didn't have anyone. No friends who knew anything about me. No family. I came here because - I thought I could use a wish to find them. To find someone who would have to care about me unconditionally - no matter what lies I told, or... maybe even without any lies.
[and he presses his face into his knees, somewhere between embarrassed and ashamed]
It's so... stupid now... Everyone has amazing wishes - and maybe that's why... I want to make sure I don't win alone, that as many people can win as possible. I'm just too afraid to admit to everyone that I'm such a narrow-minded, selfish person.