usogi | [ i already regret sasuke and senri ]

[To Senri, it’s probably a surprise. This isn’t new to Sasuke. A wave of jealousy rolls up in him, but he doesn’t look away while Senri talks. The more Senri says, actually, the worse the jealousy becomes. Not angry. Not at Senri.

It’s so much information. Some of it he had inklings of—the gods having specialties, but some just... extra. So easy was it for Senri to get. Just by talking, being nice. An actor. Playing the game in another way. He’d never be able to do something like that so casually.

Finally, he looks away, trying to commit the specialties to memory. He idly reaches out to flip the meat with his chopsticks, brows draw tight even if doing so stings his healing eye.]

Have you decided yet which god you’re going to convince people to join?

.... that's the other thing - this is what I need to confirm with Piety at some point. I might ask Cheri too, just to be safe. But Cunning told me that it's not just numbers. You need to believe in what the god's world in order for it to come true. So we can't say that we just want to join Indulgence just because of the numbers - it won't work out perfectly if we do that. So it has to be... sincere, and genuine, and I have to be more convincing to make it happen.

[and he sounds frustrated with that - he doesn't understand the jealousy, really. but there's the feeling of his shortcomings, of the fact that senri hasn't been able to win over everyone. it twists in his stomach even as he watches the food.]

If we want to leave behind a good world, I need to make my case - and I need to be both smart and charming about it.

[his mouth presses into a straight line.]

I think Piety's world is the best balanced - but Piety also made a deal with Cunning, and if Cunning wins then Piety will act as an advisor. But... I also like Justice's, and I also like Beauty's. The rest of the worlds have their own merits, but they're not my personal favorites. But if we can convince those gods to tailor theirs to be a little more palatable....

[it's always been a social game to senri, and for once he looks serious as his gaze falls to the food.]

Gods can grow, and learn. That's why I'm trying to get to know all of them - so that no matter who wins, they're at least a little more mature than when they started.

[It matches with some of the things he has been told. There’s no confusion or anger, and his brow rises at the frustration. He gets it, though. Why for Senri, based on their conversation.]

I may defect again to help someone else. He probably asked others as a failsafe. But... [When the meat is finished, he splits them between his rice bowl and Senri’s, and then he adds more so some can be cooking.] Justice’s world is the one I want. I’m not going to leave him at the end. When it’s over... I’ll be with him unless something happens out of my control.

He’s the youngest. He has the opportunity to grow into a good leader. His spirit... [Naruto.] Others can change, but I don’t trust them to not get stuck in old ways. Even with pacts.

Promises are the the worst things they could make.

[ . . . ]

Let me know if you're going to go somewhere? I just.... don't want Cheri or Beauty to end up without any followers. I don't want any god to end up without any followers, but there's only one of me. And even then I'm on a time crunch as we get closer to the end of the game....

[and he takes a second to at least take a bite of the food - his chopsticks miss initially, as he gets used to the new depth perception, but eventually they find their way to his mouth as he thinks]

... in Cunning's wing, there's some oracle inside the house? I don't know the details, but I heard about it from the people who were in there. There was a riddle. I'll try to remember it but - we know for a fact that there's going to be multiple people dead this weekend again.

[and he pauses]

The other thing I was told is that whoever killed Fortune - their coin is pristine. That was a hint that someone got from Bambi. I'm going to act tomorrow like I don't know that, but keep an eye out for anyone with totally clean coins. We can talk later about who might've done it, if Ray-kun's thing with Luna doesn't work out.

[Sasuke makes a bit of a face when he pushes some of the rice and meat into his mouth. He doesn't have to say anything. Senri gets what he feels: a hot, frustrated and completely disgusted bubble ready to burst.]

He wants me to go to Indulgence. I owe him a favor.

[Clearly, someone does not enjoy the idea of venturing over under Indulgence after the meeting went with the two of them.

The irritation dies away, and Sasuke looks up.] Pristine? [He thinks over the list of specialties. (No wonder Merriment gave him such a scolding, too.)] Is the tarnishing a "curse"? Are they doing tasks for Love to get Love to remove the tarnishing?

Or did they stay with Ruin until required to move? If so, their coin may now be somewhat tarnished depending on when you heard this information.

[ . . . . ]

Good luck.

[senri eats another bite. he also has not bothered to talk to indulgence after that fucking disaster. lmao rip.

anyway - ]

I heard it yesterday. It's new, and I'm only telling you because I know for a fact that your coin isn't perfect. The only person that I'm even thinking of telling this is Shishimaru, because I know he isn't the one who did it. He doesn't have many friends, he wouldn't have killed the sole one he had.

Don't repeat this to anyone.

[ . . . ]

I'm thinking it was accomplices. A Ruin follower and... maybe an Ambition who put the false evidence. But I don't have any proof or leads - just gods. I haven't even figured out where the Ruin follower went... though I heard the inkling somewhere that they might be with Merriment. That isn't for sure either, but.. it makes me nervous.

[Senri doesn't have to worry really. Sasuke..............has no friends; therefore, he has no one to tell any of this to at all. RIP.]

At first, I suspected the killer was with Ambition... I thought they assumed I was with Beauty because of what I said during the trial. Since Beauty had so little followers, they made me defect to try to get Beauty to zero.

If there's accomplices... [He frowns into the bowl of rice without eating any more of it.] I think there's at least one accomplice, too.

I was hoping they wouldn't move to Justice. They could become stronger...

[senri pauses at that and his expression remains neutral - but sasuke will certainly feel the sharp stab of fear at the idea of beauty getting to zero followers. senri is unhappy with the idea of any of the gods suffering that loss, but beauty in particular strikes something unhappy and worried in him]

.... I don't know where they've gone. At least one of them has a perfect coin.

But the other one definitely moved at least once, since they're with Ruin. If I can get them to show me their coins, then we can have a better understanding. Especially since it's the other half of the game that I don't know anything about.

If we put together the new defection knowledge together with what I knew before... we can narrow things down a lot, I think.

[ . . . ]

And if something happens to me - everything I've ever known over the course of the game is in my phone. There's a fingerprint lock, and Shishimaru is the only one who also has access to it. But just so you know....

[just in case.]

[Senri gets an immediate, sharp reverb of fear back. As soon as it hits and melts over Sasuke, it's turning around and slamming Senri right in the center of the chest.

Sasuke's brows draw together, and his eye snaps up at Senri's face. Don't say that, is what his face mirrors with the feeling, but he doesn't speak the words aloud. He doesn't have to for Senri to understand them.]

Nothing is going to happen.

[Otherwise, Sasuke Uchiha will probably go turbo at the very beginning of the trial without even waiting for mid-trial murder.]

[ah -

senri falters at that. it's probably a little odd, how he still manages to be surprised despite everything that they've been through. he's stunned into silence for a second, pausing even in eating.

then there's the same odd feeling of gratitude - thanks for caring at me - that senri can't suppress either. it's such a twisted, selfish feeling that he shouldn't accept when there's someone expressing concern for him but. well, he's always been a little emotionally reckless about that in particular.]

... uh-huh.

[and he'll pause in eating, putting his bowl in the same hand as his chopsticks so he can reach out and place a hand on sasuke's uinjured forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze]

Nothing's going to happen.

... give me a second to try to remember the riddle? I think that's the last of the things that I know that I haven't told you.

[His eye lowers to the hand on his arm, but he doesn't say anything about it or try to knock it away. After a moment, he draws it back simply so he can resume trying to eat even though, by now, he's kind of just picking.

Maybe he'll try some of the vegetables with the rice.]

Does it matter? If we already know there will be more than one or two dead... [His face bunches--he seems righteously angry. As if he should somehow be able to stop it. Maybe not for the people's sake since they go back in the end, but for... Senri's, Yu's, Ray's.] Unless...

Does the riddle tell us something else?

[senri resumes eating also - though he nods. he's memorized hundreds of scripts so it's not that hard for him to recall, though when it comes to things regarding this game, it feels a lot more heavy. like he has to get it exactly right or they'll risk messing something else up.]

...

"Facing a trial of limited time, seeking culprits of multiple crimes, finding out things aren't like they seem, and... Inspecting members of our own team."

[ . . . he frowns]

I thought maybe... since it's Cunning's house, that means we might need to look more at people who are on his team. But since someone told me something about the Ruin follower maybe going to Merriment...

[the anxiety twists in his stomach again]

I have no way of knowing yet. And I don't know how to help it.

[Sasuke's face falls into its usual intensity, and he's quiet as he listens to Senri recite the riddle. Nothing seems valuable in the long run except for the final part.

Team? What team? God teams? Their team? But who found it... Ray, Zoe, and Connor, wasn't it? Being shot out of the house's window.] I haven't heard anyone else talk about destroying the gods. Except me. [Then again, Sasuke doesn't talk to people!]

Mizuki... told me they don't care about the gods or the gods' world, only their own. But if they cursed you before, they hadn't been with Ruin. Luna is always playing opposing sides. It seems too easy to find her suspicious.

I thought back over what everyone found. The handprint. The sedative in the drink.

The screws they found in Fortune's shoes... [His brows furrow.] It wasn't the board... But it could have been from one of us.

Unless it was planted evidence.

.... Mizuki-san is with Beauty and will continue to be with Beauty - they say that they don't care about the gods, but they care about him. I'm actually grateful to them, but I suspect their coin will be pristine if they decide to show it.

Luna-san is actually someone that I struggle to get a read on entirely, even more than Connor-san.

[he tilts his head....]

We still don't know how the Ambition power was used - some of us think it might be with the handprint, but it's kind of unclear. I personally think that the Ruin follower and the Ambition follower worked together, but... mm, I'm not that smart - I can't figure out how. That's why I talk to other people.

[he's really outsourcing thinking. he presses his lips together.]

The people that I expect to have pristine coins are... Sieg-kun, Nonon-san, Yu-kun, Shishimaru, Mizuki-san, Ogou-san, and Jude-kun. There are other people that I think might have perfect coins, but I don't know.

But of that list... I only trust Shishimaru with all of this information. So please don't mention it to anyone but him. Or else information can be traced back to me and... I'm worried if someone wants to use their power on me again to get me to talk.

[because he clearly has so much to say,,]

[Sasuke doesn't acknowledge his cooperation, but he doesn't have to in the end. Senri can feel it in the core of the chest. A willingness to protect.]

We'll see how the trial goes.

[It's about as much as they can do right now, even with everyone's plans falling into place. It won't be very difficult, with one of the rules, to throw a wrench in the middle of everything. Last trial was a mess. This trial...

Sasuke frowns at the rice left in his bowl. He's full, but feels strangely empty. The hollow ache which comes with helplessness. He worries his lips softly between his teeth, dark eye distant. He feels... useless.

There's so many people he's trying to protect, not even for him. For others.]

[ . . . hm. senri will nod and eat quietly for a second, internally analyzing the feeling that settles in his chest. this one is sasuke's - but it's not one that Senri doesn't understand in his own way. to feel useless, to feel like you're not doing enough... that's him in this game constantly.

but there's also a different feeling - like he's a little stronger now that he has sasuke's cooperation. and he feels a little lighter, now that he's been honest.

so he'll shift how he's sitting and put his bowl in one hand again, so he can reach out with two fingers extended and press them to sasuke's forehead.

he offers up a smile as he does.]

... have faith. I'm worried - but I think... the more people we get to work together, the better it'll go.

Please keep trusting me.

[the emotions inside of senri don't entirely fit the expression on his face - he looks much happier than he feels - but there is the core of hope at the center of his being. that one way or another, things will work out. a stubborn denial to feel downtrodden when the game is not yet over.]

[His eye shifts up with practice as Senri's hand moves in. The motion is something he should know by heart more than anything, and he does, but he doesn't... expect it from Senri, of all people.

It isn't bad, just strangely misplaced.

He looks shocked, and his chest clenches. The warmth that spreads through him isn't anger, or embarrassment, or even love. It's deeper. Familial. It's painful and aching and incredibly lonely. It's the taste of family before it's ripped away and crushed. His lip trembles, his brow furrows, but he swallows and he's fine.

He looks down.]

Edited (that wasnt the right icon dang) 2019-03-15 16:47 (UTC)

[this dumb sad gay.

it's a little ironic, how little senri understands about the feeling that he gets from sasuke. familial? the first time that he ever got a taste of something like that was just barely a week ago, in a little ferris wheel car, with a god and the person right in front of him. but even then this feeling is a little different, a little more twisted and sad.

his hand falls away from sasuke's forehead, instead rests on his shoulder to give it a squeeze and then he pulls back, expression soft and a little confused but - still fond.]

Idiot.

[an idiot that he cares about a lot unfortunately!!]

[Yeah, okay. That's fair. Sasuke accepts this without looking up or complaint. He is an idiot, it's true.

He doesn't offer any clarification for the feelings or the expression. It's better to not open those can of worms, not when they have other things on their plate right now. His issues with his brother... can wait, or not come to light at all for the rest of the game.

With a quiet exhale, he goes back to shifting the rice around in the bowl, not exactly as hungry as he probably should be.

Very quietly, he says again:] I'm sorry.

[ . . . senri tilts his head quietly. sasuke can probably feel the notes of confusion.]

Over what?

[the food is great? sasuke's been really understanding about how much information senri has? there's not really anything that he thinks is worth apologizing over,]

[Surprisingly (or not surprisingly), Sasuke doesn't answer. He continues to not look at Senri because there's nothing worse than having to explain a vulnerable moment when you're a flaming pile of garbage.]

.... don't apologize to me if you're not going to tell me what it's for....?

[the red string of fate thing makes it easier for him to uncode sasuke's emotions but it doesn't make him a mind reader??]

That's so half-hearted.

[Quietly:] Shut up. [It still takes him several minutes to get up the nerve to be honest.]

Your eye.

[ . . . .

senri blinks.]

Oh.

I forgave you - like, yesterday.

[????]

It's not really your fault in the first place - it was my mistake being out there - but you'll probably keep arguing with me so... If you really wanna apologize, then I forgive you.

[ i already regret sasuke and senri ]

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