[he closes his mouth, opens it. closes it again, and smiles, wryly.]
I was hoping... for anything else. For a thread... something else to follow. Anything, everything, on the other murderer.
Or something that would show he didn't do it on purpose. That he was forced. That he didn't want to. That... that...
[his voice grows small, pathetic.]
That I was wrong. That what I was seeing... wasn't true.
[he exhales, a sad, breathy laugh.]
That's why I'm an idiot. I kept hoping. I was afraid of the truth, Senri. I didn't want to believe it, right in front of my eyes, as he got away with lie after lie...
[he's shaking again. it's stupid. he's stupid. so, so, stupid.]
I couldn't. Because... it's not just about me, you know? Nothing ever was. And I don't want to destroy who I am, and what I believe in, just to win this stupid competition, even if...
no subject
[he closes his mouth, opens it. closes it again, and smiles, wryly.]
I was hoping... for anything else. For a thread... something else to follow. Anything, everything, on the other murderer.
Or something that would show he didn't do it on purpose. That he was forced. That he didn't want to. That... that...
[his voice grows small, pathetic.]
That I was wrong. That what I was seeing... wasn't true.
[he exhales, a sad, breathy laugh.]
That's why I'm an idiot. I kept hoping. I was afraid of the truth, Senri. I didn't want to believe it, right in front of my eyes, as he got away with lie after lie...
[he's shaking again. it's stupid. he's stupid. so, so, stupid.]
I couldn't. Because... it's not just about me, you know? Nothing ever was. And I don't want to destroy who I am, and what I believe in, just to win this stupid competition, even if...
[...]
Even if it means dying for good.