usogi | [ canonmates who don't trust each other for shit babey ]

[ he almost, almost, starts crying again. his eyes water, but he quickly blinks them away out of stubbornness because he refuses to cry twice here.

it's so stupid, and mean, to be happy about something that is making another person suffer. it's an ugly feeling and taka pushes it down, although he wishes it would be as easy as stopping the tears. ]

It's okay to want to take a break. I know you want to take care of others, but... you need to take care of yourself, too. And sometimes, even when it doesn't seem like it, it's also helping the other person as well.

[ . . . and senri just laughs quietly at that, even if it's not entirely a happy noise. he leans forward to press his lips to taka's forehead, soft and sweet, and then he pulls back even as he cups his cheek again]

... yeah...

It's... I went to Cheri, after... it all started happening. And Cheri said that it's - more important to try and enjoy all of our time together, for as long as we could, because we wouldn't get to be here forever. I agreed with him, so I went back to see Tamaki again shortly after.

... he takes good care of me, too. Even if we just talk, or he helps me find answers. I... don't know if the crush I struggled with ever really managed to go away.

But... it doesn't hold a candle to what I feel for you. I'm sorry, if it's scary to know that I'm still fond of him - but I love you.

And only you.

I'm so happy with you, just like this... It's all I want.

After all this... I know without a doubt you'll be the only one I ever see.

[ he listens quietly, his hold on senri tightening

he loves him. it's surreal how much he does. ]

You said you want to get married?

[oh.

senri blinks at that, looking just a little embarrassed.]

... I know we're still figuring all this out, and a lot of it comes from the stress and everything...

But -

Eventually... I'd like to make 'forever' into something real.

If... that's okay.

... it's okay.

[ he leans in to press his lips against senri's, and then he kisses him again after a moment's pause. ]

It's okay. It'll... be nice, after we figure things out. We're already going to spend forever together, right?

[ there's another pause as he goes to reach for senri's hand. ]

... I can't say that the Tamaki thing doesn't bother me. But-- I trust what you're saying. I trust you more than anything.

[even though he's been comfortable in this, even though he's known for a while now that they'd have forever together, senri's heart feels like it's beating too fast in his chest. it batters against his ribcage almost painfully, but it's full of only love and affection.

he reaches for taka's hand, and interlaces their fingers]

... I'm sorry that it bothers you - and I can't blame you... No matter what you said to me, when you came back with Sheba-chan yesterday, I only wanted you next to me. I can't imagine what it's been like for you... You're really a lot better than I am.

[and he'll lean in to press their lips together just once more]

... I'd never do anything to hurt you. I promise.

I know.

[ he knows that they'll argue, and the thing with these two is that when they fight, they tend to get vicious-- it's a trait they unfortunately share. the fact that they only really managed to have only one after they started dating is surprising, really.

but he knows they'd do their best to be kind, and if they slip, they'll help each other back up again. ]

We'll figure it out. And I think... with time... the other feelings will just become a memory.

[ time and distance and the overwhelming feeling of know that no matter what, no one will compare to the person right next to him. ]

[ . . . . soft. the feelings that senri has in this moment are only soft. as long as taka knows that even though senri is a mess, and a disaster, that he'll never hurt him - that he'll go out of his way to keep from hurting him or betraying that trust, that's the most important thing. he settles and presses another kiss to taka's lips]

... yeah, I think so too.

They'll find happiness too - with people that aren't us.

I believe in that.

Me too.

[ he kisses him back, soft and sweet and he only pulls back just enough so that he can talk properly. ]

... you don't have to worry about Sheba, too. I need to make sure I say that. My feelings for you are... so much, that I can't imagine being with anyone but you, Senri.

She doesn't even like me like that, anyway.

[ . . . and senri pauses - because he wonders if that's true. if someone could hold taka's hand, and really get to know him, and see how soft and sweet he could be would somehow manage to walk away without feeling something]

... and even if she did...

It wouldn't make a difference, right?

[ . . . ]

Sorry - that's... mean.

[but.]

You're the only one for me, Senri. I want you to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning, and the last thing when I close them at night.

[ he kisses senri on the forehead. ]

I could never love anyone like I love you. I promise.

[ . . . and he just breathes out a sigh of relief, even though he knows it's a little stupid for him to have been holding onto anything at all.]

... thank you. I... I want you to make as many connections as you want, and find the people that you like, and be able to grow with them.

But I also want to have you forever.

Because I love you, too. So much.

Never forget, dumb rabbit... I'm yours.

[ he shifts so he can kiss senri on the lips again, his grip on his hand tightening as he pours as much emotion as he can into the kiss. like it's a physical version of his promise, on top of the actual words themselves. ]

And nothing will ever take me away from you.

My stupid lion to keep forever...

[senri smiles into the kiss, because of course he does. he holds onto taka's hand, but also gently presses himself against taka so that they can roll a little bit more onto the bed and senri can be on top, if only so that he can press consecutive kiss after kiss to taka's lips, as if that'll help seal their promise between them]

[ ahhh

taka meets every kiss eagerly, his hands moving to grip onto senri's (taka's) shirt to pull him even closer to him. ]

Weren't we going to bed?

[ he says, between kisses, ]

[senri hums thoughtfully - against taka's mouth

before he pulls back just enough to tease]

Do you want to go to bed still?

[and he'll lean in for another kiss]

Because I can do this for a little while longer, I think.

Well...

[ he nips lightly at senri's lip, hooking one of his legs around senri's. ]

Technically we're in bed.

[and senri is just going to laugh at that as he kisses taka's jaw]

Mm, that's true.

But didn't you get tossed around a little today? Does it hurt anywhere? Maybe I can kiss it better.

[please stop]

You could pick a spot and I'll tell you if it hurts or not.

[ no

bad. very bad. ]

[ . . . and senri just laughs]

Are you trying to avoid responsibility....

I dunno what you mean?

Timid lion....

[senri hums thoughtfully and lightly presses a finger against taka's collarbone]

Here?

[ he

considers.... ]

Nah.

[ . . . senri just looks annoyed]

Ehh?

[ he just raises an eyebrow ]

Hm?

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