usogi | [ canonmates who don't trust each other for shit babey ]

... I really did fuck this up...

[ he was scared that it was fortune, and then it

was her. ]

[ . . . and senri will just adjust his weight, moving so that he can run his fingers through taka's hair]

..... it's not your fault.

I know that you... feel these sorts of things really intensely but... it's not.

... they spent so much time trying to figure out how she fell, and I could have just told them.

They struggled at the top, she went over the side and hit different parts of the ride as she went down. And then she grabbed onto something, but then she lost her grip and fell to the ground.

[and senri shakes his head]

Mizuki-san got it. When there was plenty of time left - and Ray-kun figured it out too. You didn't have to tell them. You didn't have to put yourself in danger like that.

[ . . . ]

Merriment wasn't on the list this week - but we don't know about next. It wasn't a bad idea....

... Ishikirimaru told Mizuki. Not my involvement, but just what we saw.

[ ray is just a fucking gremlin ]

[ . . . and senri just sighs and holds taka closer.]

Then it's fine....

You don't need to be the one to do it. If Ishirin-san is volunteering....

I need to stop at least one.

Or... see who it is, or-- something. Make it there in time so they don't die alone, or--

[ he lets out a breath ]

Something.

[ . . . ]

I know what you mean. And I.... I'll support you, however you need me to support you.

.... but please be careful....

I don't - if something happened to you...

...

[ he leans over to kiss him again. ]

[senri will lean into it, and he'll wrap both of his arms around taka's neck, and he might lean in for a second kiss just because he doesn't know what to say

and when he speaks again, it's small, and just a little bit afraid - ]

.... please don't leave me alone.

I'm never going to leave you.

[ ... he knows that's kind of an impossible thing to promise here. today definitely drove that home, more than anything.

he settles his forehead against senri's. ]

Never.

[senri closes his eyes and settles for just breathing in - because this way taka is close to him, and he doesn't have to worry about what might happen on thursday nights. if he might have to wake up alone because something goes wrong. his heart still continues to beat thunderously in his chest and he shivers, even if he's not sure if it's from cold or emotion

and he nods quietly]

... never.

I believe you.

You better.

[ although there's not as much conviction in his voice when he says that, like he wouldn't quite blame senri if he didn't.

but he's also tired, so maybe it's just that and nothing that deep. ]

[ . . . he wishes he knew what to say.

he wishes he knew what to do - in this moment it feels like when they opened the door to find Yuma picking up the broken shards of a piggy bank again. like there's something deep here that he can't touch. and that feeling swirls heavily in his chest, because he never wanted to feel that way with taka.

so instead he just rolls so that they're on their sides instead of being on top of taka, and he pulls him in, kissing the top of his head.]

... do you think you'll be able to sleep?

I think.... you've worked harder than anyone, again.

I don't know about that.

[ it still doesn't feel like he did anything. ]

But I can sleep. You should go see your friends.

[senri blinks - and tilts his head quietly]

... but I want to stay with you....

Oh.

[ he thought senri was trying to excuse himself.....

he sighs and just holds onto him more. ]

That's fine.

[ . . . and senri just huffs a little bit even as he accepts the hold and curls more around taka]

What do you think of me...

I'm tired too - so I thought we could at least nap together...

Hm? Would a boyfriend who'd take care of you do that with you?

[ you bitch

but he leans forward to kiss senri on the cheek. ]

[sdklfjsdf

senri flushes at that - a little embarrassed]

I couldn't just - say it right then and there....

I do want a boyfriend who'll take care of me... and I have one....

[SENRI'S DAMN LOOPHOLES]

[ ... he doesn't think senri was talking about him when he brought that up.

but takaomi will try his best to be what senri wants anyway, even if he knows he won't be as good at it as beauty was. ]

Nice save.

[he winces]

It's hard when I want to tell people but...

[ . . . ]

I thought I should mention that... I don't think Mizuki-san really likes me.... Or at least - they don't trust me. I've tried to fix things and keep going as normal after they cursed me but....

[he presses his face against taka]

... I'm not going to let Majima-san know. But I might tell Ishirin-san... and Ray-kun and Sasuke. It makes me nervous... to have someone smarter than me think I'm suspicious.

... Ishikirimaru trusts Mizuki enough to tell them his alignment and power. I don't think he wouldn't trust you, but his opinion on Mizuki might help a lot if they're that close.

... just be careful that Sasuke might not take that too well.

[ . . . and senri just laughs a little]

I know. I don't want... to make people uncertain of Mizuki-san, but I need to protect myself too, don't I? Isn't that okay....

.... but I'll make Sasuke promise not to lash out first. He's paranoid - but I think he and Ray-kun of all people would understand the feeling of being suspicious about me.

You need to protect yourself first.

[ it's said firmly, and his hand reaches out to cup senri's face. ]

So do what you can. If telling them helps, then yeah, do it.

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