usogi | [ senri & shiki just want to be fabulous ]

[after you - die.

come back to - life.

senri hears the words, but in pieces. like he's unable to process them, like he doesn't hear them correctly. like he's expecting any other end to those phrases. like he's waiting to hear that there's a different end to shiki's story.

in his ears, there's a ringing. the realization that he doesn't know what to say. that there is no script he can pull from to say the right thing here, and yet the spotlight is on him to respond to her.

(what can he say? what if he makes it worse?)]

..... Shiks, I—

I didn't know. I'm sorry.

No. [An immediate shake of the head.] Don't apologize, how could you have known? [The pin is turned between her fingers.]

In the Game, you have to make a pact with another Player so that you can team up, use your psychs and fight the Noise on the field so you can complete your missions and not get Erased. Neku was my partner when we got into the game. He helped me survive, but I was the one who was offered a second chance. [A small, annoyed huff.] At first he was pretty tough to deal with. I didn't know him, he was just the first person I saw and the first person I could make a pact with. When we started he wasn't so great at working with other people and wanted to be on his own. He used to tell me to shut up and walk away from me and everything...and never let me in or would talk to me. I'm pretty sure he thought I was totally annoying.

[Despite this, she sounds very fond of her dumb hedgehog.] But...we worked together and I think we're friends now. He said we were. He protected me and I didn't want to leave without him, but there wasn't another way. The GM wouldn't let both of us go and...if I can get my wish here...I can save him.

I hope he still trusts me.

[hmmm, that's a lot of information.

senri parses through it piece by piece - though it gets to the point where he understands a little too well. a partner that's difficult, that walks away when they don't want to talk to you, that won't let you in and thinks you're annoying.... he wants to tell shiki that that guy isn't worth it, and she should look for someone else. maybe they can find a way to be partners instead.

... but she had better luck than he did. and even though he's happy for her, completely finds it easy to believe because shiki is sweet and endearing - there's the ever-curling jealousy of 'there's no one like that for me.'

he pushes that thought aside.]

.... why wouldn't he?

[and he offers her a smile, and hopes that his words are the right ones.]

You did your best for him - are doing your best for him. I'm hoping this guy isn't so dense that he'd be blind to that.

I want your wish to come true too, Shiks.

[Senri...]

...I have to. I promised him that I wouldn't be scared of getting a second chance, but I'm scared of being without him. It's silly, isn't it? We've only known each other for a week, and I lied to him for most of it. [She puffs out her cheeks.] And these stupid gods made me lie to everyone here, too.

I have to remember their game's worth it. It's the only way both of our wishes will come true, isn't it?

[senri can't relate - not exactly. "I'm scared of being without him" is how he feels a lot of the time - but never with a specific 'him'. He's more scared of being alone than anything else.]

... right. I'll make sure both of our wishes come true.

[and then he'll pause to undo the heart pin and chain set on his lapel, holding it in his hand.]

This isn't a Player Pin - I don't even have a fancy name for it. Maybe a Pal Pin? is that too cheesy?

[but he'll laugh as he holds it out to her.]

.... I don't know what you've lied to me about, but so far you haven't made me unhappy with anything you've said, so it's fine, isn't it? So I'll tell you this truth: you're my friend. So why don't you take this from me, and I'll hold onto your heavy Player Pin for a little bit - and then we'll trade back when we've both won this thing?

I think you'll do great here, you know? You know how to talk to people and make connections. It won't be hard for you to align people. [Just from what she's noticed.] Between the two of us? It'll be a piece of cake.

[But she stops when Senri's busy undoing that pin, staring at him quietly even as he offers it to her.]

…do you really mean that? [The Player Pin's in her hand, and she doesn't quite take the heart just yet, but she looks hopeful.] I mean yeah, we're friends, of course, but…["Will we still be friends when you see the real me?" She thinks about that, and she thinks that Senri's answer would be the same as Neku's.

It's why in the end, she takes the heart and swaps pins, pressing the Player Pin into his hand and curling his fingers over it.]

We're a team now, okay? No take-backs until we've both won.

[ . . . . ahah. Senri's smile only grows when she takes his pin and gives her his - and he'll reach out to hold onto her free hand and give it a squeeze.]

Of course we're a team. First thing that we can get you away from your rude god and bring you to mine, we're going to make it happen. Then we'll figure out the rest of this game and let everyone on our team win.

[TEAM SINCERITY, BABEY]

I promise I won't walk away from you, Shiks. It's not a victory until we manage it together.

[She's almost immediately taking his hand in return, grip tight and secure and even if she's smiling she's fighting some tears in her eyes. It's easier than she thought...making friends...trying to be herself. A second chance...this wasn't what she had imagined, but it's good practice.

With new friends she can do anything. She'll do this for Neku, but she'll do this for Senri, too.

She received a second chance. She has to do what she can to truly live and survive here and not waste it.]

Defects are probably in a few days. I wish we could do this sooner. I'd like to meet with Sincerity myself, but I don't know if Ambition knows I'm leaving or not. And I want to make a really special offering for Sincerity anyway.

[There's a small laugh.] We'll be okay. And the more teammates we make, the stronger we'll be, right? So we should talk to lots of people, make a lot of friends, and get them to join us. Everyone deserves their best wishes.

[She releases his hand then with a gentle squeeze, immediately pinning the heart onto her jacket.] What do you think? Does it look good on me?

I think Cheri would like that.

[and senri relaxes easily as he holds onto shiki's hand, letting his thumb running over her knuckles soothingly. he thinks that's the correct thing to do and so far shiki hasn't gotten upset with him so... maybe he's finally doing it right. maybe he's finally bridging the gap between him and others.]

I have a lot of faith in us.

[and then he'll let go of her hand, grinning brightly as she wears his pin.]

Mm-hmm! Even cuter than when I had it - it suits you super well, you know? Shiks' heart is probably just as pretty as the pin.

I do, too. [Sincerely. Truthfully. It's only been a few days, but she knows what people she can and can't trust. Senri is someone who's been nothing but kind to her even if she hasn't told him the whole truth and someone who doesn't demand it from her. That, too, is nice.]

You're sweet. [She looks at the pin, grateful and elated all the same.] And I think the Player pin sort of suits you, too, you know? It's the sign of someone strong enough to survive even when the odds are against them. So...we have to stay strong no matter what. Promise?

[ . . . . he doesn't think that fits him. not at all. he doesn't know if he'd be able to survive the way shiki did, knowing that she was dead - knowing now that she's dead and she's trying to fight for her friend too. that weird in between space between life and death.

he doesn't think he'd be able to handle it. he doesn't know if he'll ever be as strong as she is.

none of that ever makes it to his face, because he's so used to wearing a smile now that his face grew into the shape of it.]

Mm, promise. We'll fight as hard as we can in order to win this game - for both of our reasons.

Good! [With that settled, she laughs again, a little relieved and a little happier than before.] This game almost feels a little easier. No entry fee or anything. We just have to trust ourselves and rely on each other. There're some people that're a little hard to reach, but with the two of us? I have a feeling we'll be unstoppable.

[ senri & shiki just want to be fabulous ]

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