[ senri & ray are not okay ]

[usogi]

Comments

[selfimmolates]

[...]

First time losing someone?

[usogi]

[ . . . . . ]

First time having -

['someone to lose'.

He doesn't finish the thought out loud for some reason. but he just coughs out a noise that barely sounds like a laugh.]

... I don't know if I feel right talking to a kid about something like this.

[selfimmolates]

I'm pretty used to this kind of stuff. You're really not going to scar me or anything.

... If you want to vent, then vent. No one is going to judge you for it.

[usogi]

..... I don't know venting is what I want to do.

[and do what? spout more ugly things into the universe? he doesn't pull his gaze away from the clouds, but does reach out to touch them, even if they just dance away like the wispy things they are]

She's still going to be gone. No matter what I say.

[selfimmolates]

That's how death is. [...] Sorry, Senri, but it's not going to get any easier from here. Regardless of the outcome this week, it's going to happen next time, as well.

[usogi]

It doesn't have to.

[at the very least, he doesn't sound offended - maybe he's too tired to sound offended right now.]

If no one kills anybody, then no one will die. It's obvious - and yet someone went ahead and did it anyway. So either someone has a really low standard for being a human being, or there's a part of this game that we're not being told.

[selfimmolates]

Is it really so hard to believe that at least a few people would kill if they got something out of it?

[usogi]

Yeah. I don't live in a world like that. That's the stuff that I watch in anime or see in video games.

[he'll frown at the thought]

... People don't have to be like that. It's not a given that just because hurting another person is the easy way to get something done, they'll do it.

I get it - someone killed Shiki for some stupid reason....! [and he huffs] But I don't want to think that it's inevitable.

[selfimmolates]

The gods aren't as optimistic as you.

[and neither is ray, really.]

What'll you do if it does happen again—and again?

[usogi]

I'll be upset. Every time. Again and again, even if it's someone that I don't like.

[he's not going to hide it. it's upsetting.]

... but a lot of people get to go back home after this. They can get to go somewhere safe, like me. Even if I don't get my wish granted, I'll still be alive.

[ . . . . . ]

Did you talk to Shiks?

[selfimmolates]

Yeah. Nice girl. Didn't deserve this.

[usogi]

[senri sighs and lets his hands move behind him, and shifts his weight to rest on them]

.... I think I have to play for her too now.

[selfimmolates]

[it's a good answer.]

Then let that motivate you.

[usogi]

... yeah.

[ . . . ]

I'm going to ask the gods if there's any way to switch Shiks' team. She told me that she was going to switch this week, and where - she just... didn't get to it.

I think if she swaps, she'll have a higher chance of winning even now. Then her wish can still get granted, so long as that god wins.

Can you find out too?

[selfimmolates]

Sure. I can ask around.

[usogi]

Thanks.

[ . . . ]

Shiks has something of mine. It might come up tomorrow. I'm just letting you know now, so you don't think I'm hiding anything from you if it's a surprise.

[selfimmolates]

... What is it?

[usogi]

It's just a pin.

[and senri will tug on the right lapel of his uniform jacket - there's an empty spot where he used to have a heart pin. but since he gave it away to shiki, he started swapping the order of his accessories to just make it look like he was fickle.]

She gave me one too. We traded, because we made a promise to win.

[selfimmolates]

All right. I can't guarantee what anyone else will think, but I'll keep that in mind.

[usogi]

.... I know - but if people are wrong and think it's me, then that means we won't find who actually hurt Shiks.

[and that's what he's concerned about the most.]

[selfimmolates]

We'll find them—even if just for the safety of the group. If someone's going after the other participants, it's best to deal with them immediately, before they get the chance to do it again.

[usogi]

... Ray-kun. I have a question. But it's not really about the game, so something tells me you're not going to feel super inclined to answer.

[selfimmolates]

[considering he's immediately on guard now? probably not.]

What is it?

[usogi]

[oops. well, senri thought it would only be fair to mention.]

How come you're so prepared to talk about things like this? You said you're used to it - but I don't get why.

[he's just so - young.]

[selfimmolates]

[... oh, that. ray's mouth twitches into a mirthless smile.]

I don't really mind answering, but you're probably not going to like it. Though it's probably kind of obvious, anyway.