[ senri & ray are not okay ]

[usogi]

Comments

[usogi]

.... I know that - but expressing feelings around me isn't going to get you killed, you know?

Whenever we talk about this kind of thing, you always get as detached as possible... but like you said, we have four more weeks of this....

[selfimmolates]

This is my default state of being. You're expecting me to be something I've never been.

[compared to all the years of his life so far, four weeks is nothing.]

[usogi]

There's always room for growth, you know?

[ . . . ]

But I get it, too. I just thought I'd offer - because sometimes you worry me too.

[as if senri wasn't the one who had a big kerfuffle during trial yesterday]

[selfimmolates]

[he did grow. but the only person he learned to trust like that is in another world entirely, beyond his reach.

and after the events of this week, showing weakness again is the last thing he wants. even if it means being alone, it's better that way.]

Focus more on worrying about yourself.

[usogi]

[he shakes his head at that and easily parrots - ]

You're the one who said that caring isn't a finite resource, right? So I can worry about me, at the same time that I'll worry about you.

[selfimmolates]

[this idiot.]

It's not needed, though.

[usogi]

Too bad, it's happening.

[senri shrugs]

Technically speaking, you don't really need to worry, or care for other people in your life - but I'm gonna do it here anyway, because I think that's what's right.

[selfimmolates]

[STOP IT SENRI HE'S ALREADY REVERSED THIS SOCIAL LINK]

Right? When has this ever been about doing what's right? You're wasting your effort!

[usogi]

[wh]

Ray-kun...?

I'm not saying anything different to you than since the game started.

[senri decided they were friends week one?]

[selfimmolates]

This isn't the game start anymore.

[his hands clench into fists.]

[usogi]

[senri's ??????? intensifies]

I know that - but I don't know why you're upset, and I won't if you don't tell me.

[selfimmolates]

Shut up!

[whether that's solely to senri or to himself as well, he's not sure.]

[usogi]

Hey—

[what the fuck???]

Are you still mad after all?!

[selfimmolates]

I wasn't mad to begin with but you're really pissing me off right now!

[usogi]

You make that really hard to believe when you've never gotten this angry with me before!!

[ray's called him an idiot when he's gotten affectionate before but this is?? something new???]

What? Do you want to hit me? Call me a liar? Just do it already so you don't have to hold onto this anger anymore!

[selfimmolates]

[he doesn't get it. of course he doesn't.]

Shut up. I'm not going to do any of those things.

[he wants to walk away. unfortunately, he knows that pragmatically, he can't.]

[usogi]

You should! Because I get it - I messed up, and I lied, and you caught me in it in the middle of a trial when you trusted me!

And maybe my apology doesn't cut it, but if you don't talk to me then we can't fix this!

[his brow furrows]

Ray-kun, I need you to talk to me.

[selfimmolates]

There's nothing that needs fixing.

[usogi]

You're treating me differently and I don't know why you think I can't tell the difference.

If you'd even just admit that you're mad at me, that'd be a place to start.

[selfimmolates]

I told you, I'm not mad at you.

[or wasn't, until this moment.

and whether or not senri believes it or not, it is, in its own way, the truth.]

[usogi]

[senri does struggle to believe it but - ]

Fine, then it's something else.

Do you need me to work twice as hard to earn your trust again? Because I can do that, if that's what it takes.

[selfimmolates]

You don't need to do that.

[usogi]

Then tell me what I need to do or I'll do something stupid to try to make up for it in my own way.

[is

is that a threat or]

[selfimmolates]

You don't need to do anything, and try it and I'll tell Takaomi.

[usogi]

That's not a threat, I don't listen to what he tells me to do anyway.

[can senri please listen to someone]