[Damn. He can't even deny it. He's too tired, and there's no point. BUT. He's also stubborn and tsundere.] I just... wanted to find who killed Fortune and Ruin. [He looks away when he says this, though, so...] That's all. Don't make it out to be something it's not.
I'm not...
[It's true. He saved it as long as he could, praying he didn't miss it while he was sedated. For Ray.]
but senri is laughing? like a genuine happy, soft and fond noise. he's keeping one hand settled on sasuke's shoulder as the other smooths out his hair, humming a pleased note]
You are. I know you are.
... I mean, I can't tell anyone which kind of sucks but... I know, and I wanted to say thank you, and I'm really glad for you.
This just keeps Sasuke frowning, but it isn't a sad one? More like... Senri is setting the standard bar so high for him, and he thinks he's pretty much lying on the floor under it on his back.]
Don't thank me... Thank Ray. [A soft sigh.] And Sean.
It was his ability I had to use. Without it, we...
[This gets Sasuke to look away again.] No... Mm. He suggested it when... I asked him about something else. He seemed... [Sasuke searches for the right word.] ...excited. I didn't want... [NEVERMIND.]
I just encouraged him to try. He won't get stronger unless he does. [Reaching up, he jabs Senri gently in the chest over the heart with two fingers.] Here.
[His face falls slightly at this. He looks away, brows furrowing and eye closing. Earnest guilt rolls up in his chest, offered to Senri as it does. It takes a moment for him to finally look back.]
It was my plan... I said I would take care of him, but... I owe Ray a favor. I have to move. [A quiet sigh.] Hopefully one last time before it's over.
[ . . . oh. senri will blink at that and shake his head. he runs a hand through sasuke's hair not for the sake of braids now but just because it seems like the correct soothing gesture to go for]
... hey, it's okay. I think there are other people who will take care of him now. Um... I found someone, and I don't think they'll leave him. If they haven't yet, then... he should be okay.
[he won't say more than that...]
... I need to talk to Dizzy, to make sure that she's not at risk next week. But if I... if I can, I'll try to watch Seanbon for a week before I go to Cheri.
[The fingers are... comforting? At least, that's what Senri gets from him. He does reach up to catch Senri's wrist, almost like he plans to pull the hand away, but... he doesn't in the end.]
Alright. [There's another sigh, just as quiet, though maybe more tired.] Just... [It takes him a moment to get it out.]
...be careful.
[They probably won't be connected anymore, so he's... worried Senri may become an unnecessary target.
[Both brows furrow gently. If Newt tried to kill Senri and managed to do it, Sasuke would have gone absolutely turbo.]
I told you a long time ago ["""long"""] I would do what I needed to do. I still would. [So, like, no promises. But maybe... based on what Senri is getting from him deep down? It's a more wholesome reason.]
I do, because I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. I know that we all come back at the end but... I'd really appreciate it if you didn't put me through that.
[because even the idea of it makes him anxious?? sasuke can obviously feel that too,,]
I'm not planning anything. [yet??? ha ha] I can't make you a promise someone won't try to kill me.
You'll be fine. I won't be dead forever. You have Takaomi, and Ray, and Ishikirimaru. I'm counting on you to keep everyone in line with the information you can get. [His hand loosens on Senri's wrist and falls away.] I talked to Sincerity.
They're... right. About the clothes. About you. People underestimate you, just like they always did Naruto. They think you're stupid, so they talk more.
You have to help the others end this the right way if something happens to me.
I know that. I know all that - but that doesn't mean that I'll be able to be okay if something happened to you. I'd feel the same way if something happened to Ray-kun, if something happened to Taka....
I'm not like you, you know? I've lost a lot of people already - and I don't know if I could manage to keep going without any of you.
[The sigh is wry. Sasuke lifts his hand and jabs two fingers--this time--into the middle of Senri's forehead gently.]
Idiot.
If... I can come home to find my clan and my family murdered, but still keep going... You can keep going if we're taken out of a game. You don't have a choice. You have to keep fighting. Not for us, not for the gods' world. For yourself.
For the reward you want so badly. No matter how selfish. Don't give up on it just because we're not here.
[ . . . . ugh. he knows that it's meant to be reassuring and there's the note of appreciation, though it doesn't manage to actually remove any of senri's complicated feelings]
I... There's something that I want more than anything -
But the longer that I stay here... the more that I think that I don't need a gods' blessing in order to make it happen.... maybe.
[ . . . ]
The odds of me finding my family are about one in eight billion, give or take... but they're not impossible.
I already told you that I think... my wish feels selfish, the longer that I'm here.
[Sasuke’s face softens some. This resolution... he gets. He’s had the same one, and it’s why he wanted to stay with Justice regardless until the end.]
Then keep going for everyone else. Senri...
[His brows knot gently. He glances away, and a wash of that strange familial feeling comes back. It’s almost the same, but it shifts to something a but different. This place has been hell on him. Itachi hasn’t even been here except one week. It isn’t... that. Sasuke looks back up at Senri again. He didn’t get it before. He had been the fool again, living in an illusion. Coming here... a few certain people had opened his eyes.]
Stop throwing away what you already have searching for what you think you want. [Kakashi tried to teach him that.] Your family... [He sighs.] I never thought... Naruto understood how I felt. He never had a family. How could he understand... the pain I felt about losing mine? How could he understand being alone... but...
He understood... because of that... how important it was to take care of what he did have. Us... Team 7. Me, and Sakura, and our teacher, Kakashi, and his mentor Jiraiya... all of our classmates... the village. Those had become... his family.
[ . . . it's not as though sasuke's wrong. senri is fairly selfish - he'll do what he wants to promote his own agenda. that was simpler in tokyo, where all it meant was advancing his career, making more money, getting more popular, but it's different here. in a game of murder, what he selfishly wants to do is protect as many people as he can, for as long as he can.
he presses his lips into a thin line for a second, thoughtful and contemplative.
and then he eventually relaxes into a laugh, shaking his head as he looks at sasuke]
You're lecturing me on how to care about people.... You really want to keep surprising me this week, huh?
[There's little to no heat in the words. There's some embarrassment caused by Senri's laugh when he knows it isn't given to him out of mocking. That's what makes it worse.]
You know what I'm trying to say. Don't make a joke out of it.
You know... I was really mad last week - because Dizzy said that whoever got away with Fortune's murder was a good actor. And I'm supposed to be the best. So if there's some other two-bit second-rate understudy in the game, I wanted to find them. Ray-kun's guess turned out to be right and... I didn't believe in Newt either, and I guess that's why I'm pretty happy after everything.
[ . . . ]
I know that there are things only I can do - and I'm... actually really happy that you're trusting me with them, instead of trying to protect me again.
But just like you'd be upset if something happened to me - I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. I think we both know that we'd need to keep going, to make sure that this world has a chance at something happier.
That doesn't mean I'm prepared to lose you, or that I ever will be.
[It sounds like he's scolding Senri, but really, it's not difficult to feel the cold swirl of guilt in his chest. Something a little sad, a little lonely. The expression on his face doesn't change, though.]
Newt wasn't that special of an actor. There were too many deaths and too much evidence. We couldn't see the truth. He got lucky. [NOT THAT HE'S TRYING TO CONSOLE SENRI OR ANYTHING.] The way he played the game wasn't against the rules. The gods never set this game up for us to be protected.
Beauty told me from the start - that the more that you're known to the gods and the fellow participants, the more likely you are to be protected. I... believed him then, and I think I still believe him.
It's not the same, and if you try to convince me that the you as you currently are and that guy are anything alike, I'm going to hit you and we'll both suffer again.
[HE SAYS THIS SO CONFIDENTLY but-]
... I think intention counts for a lot. I don't think that guy was trying to help anyone, even if I don't know what he was aiming for at all. But his message when he hurt Ruin, the way that he acted once he got found out... It was cruel, and pointless.
And even if you could've ended up the same as him - you won't now, and I believe in that.
[At this, Sasuke just sighs. There's no use wasting his breath trying to argue Senri Nito on moral ethics. Reaching up, he clamps Senri's nose between two of his fingers and squeezes.]
You're so damn annoying. The day can't come quick enough when I'm rid of you.
[The words don't match the feelings radiating around inside him, and that's the most awful part about the damn curse. He releases Senri's nose and drops his arm.]
Why won't you ever hate me like you're supposed to?
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[Damn. He can't even deny it. He's too tired, and there's no point. BUT. He's also stubborn and tsundere.] I just... wanted to find who killed Fortune and Ruin. [He looks away when he says this, though, so...] That's all. Don't make it out to be something it's not.
I'm not...
[It's true. He saved it as long as he could, praying he didn't miss it while he was sedated. For Ray.]
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but senri is laughing? like a genuine happy, soft and fond noise. he's keeping one hand settled on sasuke's shoulder as the other smooths out his hair, humming a pleased note]
You are. I know you are.
... I mean, I can't tell anyone which kind of sucks but... I know, and I wanted to say thank you, and I'm really glad for you.
[thIS DUMB HAPPY GAY]
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This just keeps Sasuke frowning, but it isn't a sad one? More like... Senri is setting the standard bar so high for him, and he thinks he's pretty much lying on the floor under it on his back.]
Don't thank me... Thank Ray. [A soft sigh.] And Sean.
[Their poor son.]
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[he tilts his head - ]
Oh, you were the one who asked him to move the statues, right?
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[This gets Sasuke to look away again.] No... Mm. He suggested it when... I asked him about something else. He seemed... [Sasuke searches for the right word.] ...excited. I didn't want... [NEVERMIND.]
I just encouraged him to try. He won't get stronger unless he does. [Reaching up, he jabs Senri gently in the chest over the heart with two fingers.] Here.
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but senri is just laughing a little bit again. hope sasuke enjoys this total outpouring of fond gay feels!]
.... even if it didn't work, I'm glad you encouraged him. It took a lot of bravery, and it showed his good heart off to everyone else.
I hope Seanbon will continue to be well taken care of. You'll stay with him, right?
oh he found out anyway i guess
It was my plan... I said I would take care of him, but... I owe Ray a favor. I have to move. [A quiet sigh.] Hopefully one last time before it's over.
oh my fucking god,,
... hey, it's okay. I think there are other people who will take care of him now. Um... I found someone, and I don't think they'll leave him. If they haven't yet, then... he should be okay.
[he won't say more than that...]
... I need to talk to Dizzy, to make sure that she's not at risk next week. But if I... if I can, I'll try to watch Seanbon for a week before I go to Cheri.
I'll let you know tomorrow.
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Alright. [There's another sigh, just as quiet, though maybe more tired.] Just... [It takes him a moment to get it out.]
...be careful.
[They probably won't be connected anymore, so he's... worried Senri may become an unnecessary target.
But maybe he will instead.]
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[which he's like. super grateful for???]
... you trust me now, right?
I don't have to worry about something suddenly happening to you just because you're not connected to me?
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I told you a long time ago ["""long"""] I would do what I needed to do. I still would. [So, like, no promises. But maybe... based on what Senri is getting from him deep down? It's a more wholesome reason.]
You don't have to worry about me.
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I do, because I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. I know that we all come back at the end but... I'd really appreciate it if you didn't put me through that.
[because even the idea of it makes him anxious?? sasuke can obviously feel that too,,]
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You'll be fine. I won't be dead forever. You have Takaomi, and Ray, and Ishikirimaru. I'm counting on you to keep everyone in line with the information you can get. [His hand loosens on Senri's wrist and falls away.] I talked to Sincerity.
They're... right. About the clothes. About you. People underestimate you, just like they always did Naruto. They think you're stupid, so they talk more.
You have to help the others end this the right way if something happens to me.
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I know that. I know all that - but that doesn't mean that I'll be able to be okay if something happened to you. I'd feel the same way if something happened to Ray-kun, if something happened to Taka....
I'm not like you, you know? I've lost a lot of people already - and I don't know if I could manage to keep going without any of you.
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Idiot.
If... I can come home to find my clan and my family murdered, but still keep going... You can keep going if we're taken out of a game. You don't have a choice. You have to keep fighting. Not for us, not for the gods' world. For yourself.
For the reward you want so badly. No matter how selfish. Don't give up on it just because we're not here.
Endure.
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I... There's something that I want more than anything -
But the longer that I stay here... the more that I think that I don't need a gods' blessing in order to make it happen.... maybe.
[ . . . ]
The odds of me finding my family are about one in eight billion, give or take... but they're not impossible.
I already told you that I think... my wish feels selfish, the longer that I'm here.
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Then keep going for everyone else. Senri...
[His brows knot gently. He glances away, and a wash of that strange familial feeling comes back. It’s almost the same, but it shifts to something a but different. This place has been hell on him. Itachi hasn’t even been here except one week. It isn’t... that. Sasuke looks back up at Senri again. He didn’t get it before. He had been the fool again, living in an illusion. Coming here... a few certain people had opened his eyes.]
Stop throwing away what you already have searching for what you think you want. [Kakashi tried to teach him that.] Your family... [He sighs.] I never thought... Naruto understood how I felt. He never had a family. How could he understand... the pain I felt about losing mine? How could he understand being alone... but...
He understood... because of that... how important it was to take care of what he did have. Us... Team 7. Me, and Sakura, and our teacher, Kakashi, and his mentor Jiraiya... all of our classmates... the village. Those had become... his family.
And he hasn’t ever given up on them.
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he presses his lips into a thin line for a second, thoughtful and contemplative.
and then he eventually relaxes into a laugh, shaking his head as he looks at sasuke]
You're lecturing me on how to care about people.... You really want to keep surprising me this week, huh?
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[There's little to no heat in the words. There's some embarrassment caused by Senri's laugh when he knows it isn't given to him out of mocking. That's what makes it worse.]
You know what I'm trying to say. Don't make a joke out of it.
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[and he'll admit that quietly, shaking his head.]
You know... I was really mad last week - because Dizzy said that whoever got away with Fortune's murder was a good actor. And I'm supposed to be the best. So if there's some other two-bit second-rate understudy in the game, I wanted to find them. Ray-kun's guess turned out to be right and... I didn't believe in Newt either, and I guess that's why I'm pretty happy after everything.
[ . . . ]
I know that there are things only I can do - and I'm... actually really happy that you're trusting me with them, instead of trying to protect me again.
But just like you'd be upset if something happened to me - I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. I think we both know that we'd need to keep going, to make sure that this world has a chance at something happier.
That doesn't mean I'm prepared to lose you, or that I ever will be.
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[It sounds like he's scolding Senri, but really, it's not difficult to feel the cold swirl of guilt in his chest. Something a little sad, a little lonely. The expression on his face doesn't change, though.]
Newt wasn't that special of an actor. There were too many deaths and too much evidence. We couldn't see the truth. He got lucky. [NOT THAT HE'S TRYING TO CONSOLE SENRI OR ANYTHING.] The way he played the game wasn't against the rules. The gods never set this game up for us to be protected.
Not without working with each other.
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[ . . . and he frowns.]
I think I hate Newt, though.
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Why? Because he killed or because he lied? Both? [The frown doesn't disappear.] It would be hypocritical of you. I've done both.
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[HE SAYS THIS SO CONFIDENTLY but-]
... I think intention counts for a lot. I don't think that guy was trying to help anyone, even if I don't know what he was aiming for at all. But his message when he hurt Ruin, the way that he acted once he got found out... It was cruel, and pointless.
And even if you could've ended up the same as him - you won't now, and I believe in that.
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You're so damn annoying. The day can't come quick enough when I'm rid of you.
[The words don't match the feelings radiating around inside him, and that's the most awful part about the damn curse. He releases Senri's nose and drops his arm.]
Why won't you ever hate me like you're supposed to?
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