usogi | [ i already regret sasuke and senri ]

[There isn't a whole lot of places to go with peace and quiet with so many of them left. He could sulk on a statue, as he's always wont to do, but everything happened in the courtyard, so it's not a place he would like to be.

So he's hidden away at the pool. Water is far from an Uchiha theme, but the sound and placidity tries its best to soothe a rather troubled soul.]

Why do you care?

[senri absolutely checked the statues first.

but he also keeps looking up until he actually finds sasuke. and then he'll take a seat by him. he improvised and took a large piece of nori to wrap other rice balls and some cherry tomatoes, and he doesn't feel as bad sacrificing it to the floor between them because it's not like he made and gathered it for sasuke or anything]

... the ones I talk to are nice, if you needed more people to ask for something you want.

[Senri is too soft............ The poor rice balls are wasted on Sasuke who refuses to touch them, not because they seem like platitudes, but because he isn't hungry.]

I already have all I need. Why did you follow me? I don't want your pity.

[i wish i could say that senri has gotten less soft with all the tragedy happening but not quite yet apparently. he's not too surprised about the rice balls but like.

he tried and therefore no one could fault him.]

... I don't know. It's not pity or anything but... I don't really know what to say - if there is anything good to say here, or if I'll just make it worse.

But it also felt weird to not look for you at all.

[but also he is internally dying because he is sad but also the part of them that desperately craves a script is shriveling up and suffering]

Just give up.

[With both knees drawn up, he wraps his arms around them and shoves his face halfway into the crook of his arms just so he won't have to look in Senri's direction. Why won't these orange idiots leave him alone and hate him, let him do what he needs to do with focus without them trying to scramble after his ankles?

Damn.]

Stay with your friend and get away from me, or I'll kill you. [clearly he should just be MORE MEAN] He was dead already, so it doesn't matter.

Save it for after we see Indulgence.

[and then senri will fucking try to find another thing that hOPEFULLY WILL MEAN SASUKE WON'T KILL HIM but we'll see, he's asking to get bitten

but he looks like he's thinking about it. like getting up and walking away because he really might just make this worse, and he doesn't want that. he wants to build good impressions, and make people happy - but it really does seem like that happy ending is eluding them, just like sasuke said.]

.... do you mean that?

Just because someone's dead already - it's not like that makes it easier.

[considering that they had this conversation over shiki, it's one of the few things that senri feels like he can actually talk about.]

[It doesn’t make it easier. Sasuke has gone through it twice already. The first time wasn’t easy, by far. The second time was a kick when he was down. Now he is just numb.

Maybe it was differences in place and time. But even having changed opportunity, Itachi told him nothing. Like when they were children.]

He’s dead back home. Just like the girl. He wouldn’t have played this game for his own life. He made me kill him for a reason he wouldn’t change. [that’s a alot of bomb to DROP SASUKE] So I don’t care.

What makes you think I would meet a god with a liar who helped get rid of my brother?

[there is so much here and senri is now convinced that being a ninja isn't cool at all, it's just weird and really fucking depressing. he doesn't know what to do with sasuke's new explanations, but it's fine, he can be a coward and run to his question instead]

.... I had my god written down for a long time. Probably because I was afraid it really was Uchiha-san.

[he'd started to go quiet around the time the lighter was found with kara-chan who is being called kara-chan in senri's head until further notice. it was easy to say that he wanted to find shiki's killer for as long as they didn't actually have a face, for as long as he could pretend it was just some stranger but]

I'm still angry at him for a lot of reasons. He did that to my friend - but that doesn't mean I want him dead. Not when it means Julius-san could get hurt too. Not when you have to lose your brother.

[Sasuke’s face, what little bit can be seen, darkens. It isn’t that he’s ready to deck Senri, but more that he’s a gloomy mess in general. A hollowed-out bone with the marrow all sucked dry.]

I knew it was him when they said there was fire. [A specialty of their clan. Fanning the flames with the rounded red and white symbol on his back. Maybe Uchiha won’t ever amount to anything but liars and traitors.] I’m not losing anything. I lost my brother when I was child.

The rest of you had a chance to help get rid of a god, but you would have rather found the identity of a dead man who murdered a dead girl. You’re already playing the game wrong. Now you all are pretending to be sorry, hoping someone will have the ability to absolve Julius of his punishment so it’s only Itachi taking the fall. So you will be less guilty.

[if he was out of his depth before, he's floating out in space now. because - ]

.... I think you're right, in some ways.

[that's the problem, when the truth gets blurry - and he thinks it's even funnier that someone like him is having trouble discerning the line between reality and injured, emotional fabrication.]

I wanted to find who hurt Shiks, and maybe removing one of Love's followers instead of thinning out the lesser gods was a bad call. As long as we participate in their trials and in their game, we're just as guilty as anyone else.

[ . . . . ]

But I'm not pretending to be sorry. I am sorry. It doesn't make anything better - but I don't know what will. So it's why I asked if you're going to talk to gods, if you want someone else making appeals.... because I don't know what to do to -

.... you don't need my help, but I want to offer it.

[he still expects sasuke to hate it, but at least he said it.]

You're right, I don't need your help.

I didn't need anyone's help before, and I don't need it now. After Indulgence, you're not of any use to me. [It sounds like he's trying to be harsh, but really, he just sounds tired and empty. Not looking at Senri like he would look at someone otherwise is probably not helping his case.] If you think I'll hesitate to get rid of you that's your own stupidity.

[sasuke hates it, yeah!!!!!!!!!!]

[senri will DIE under this emo energy, sasuke]

You're just so rude....

[he doesn't say it out loud, but he thinks for someone who constantly accuses senri of lying, senri thinks that sasuke is trenched in a pit of really aggressive untruths]

[instead he shakes his head and sighs, gaze fall into the pool]

Look, this game will only get harder for you if you try to go it alone. I asked Merriment for advice and he said that it's better played with more information, which you can get faster if you don't shut everyone out.

I don't hate you, and I don't want to see you dead. And seeing you like this makes me worried - so please eat something, at some point.

You're annoying.

[JUST!! DON'T THINK YOU CAN GET THE LAST WORD ABOUT THAT, SENRI!]

And a pain. [Both of his fists ball. It's too familiar for comfort. He hates hearing the words of someone he knows coming out of someone else's mouth. Even here, he can't escape.] I don't need to make friends to get information. [He's a ninja!! Surely, that's the best way.]

Why do you keep trying to help someone who's an enemy?

[SASUKE IS MORE RUDE THAN SENRI IS ANNOYING

and he blinks like he's surprised by that last question, because he is? he doesn't even hesitate this time, he just tries to explain, clear as day.]

You're not my enemy. And I'm not yours either, for the record.

We could even be on the same team for all we know. You're a jerk, but you already know I don't like seeing people hurt. I'm not trying to trick you into trusting me, so just stop being dumb about it.

[tall order here]

Being a team means nothing to me. [sorry, he defected from team 7...] You're an opponent, even if we happened to be similarly aligned. I doubt we are. [Because... gestures at all of Senri.]

Stop taking care of everyone you feel sorry for. It'll get you killed.

[sasuke: i'll kill you myself after we see indulgence
also sasuke: stop doing this, it'll get you killed
senri: ???????????????????????]

Why are you so determined to burn every bridge you cross?

[WHY IS SASUKE LIKE THIS]

[yeah, he be like that, it's stupid]

Bonds hold you back. You won't ever accomplish what you set out to do with others getting in the way. Just like you.

Edited (html please) 2019-02-24 22:02 (UTC)

Stop putting words in my mouth - what do you think I'm stopping you from? Leaving you alone?

[because to be honest it's one thing when senri leaves takaomi alone - they make each other mad in a way that sasuke hasn't even touched.

but as far as senri can tell, sasuke isolates. he tries to cut off everyone else, even when he's losing. his family left him behind, and instead of clinging onto anything, he's setting everything on fire.

senri doesn't get it.]

What are you hoping to accomplish with that? More self-injury and recklessness?

[It's no surprise Sasuke looks extremely offended at being--well, called out. Senri wouldn't know about his unbridled anger, the one that literally blinded him from using too much of the sharingan. Whatever it took, it didn't matter.

The ones who had to pay would.]

You don't know anything. [STOP NARUTO-ING HIM] Stick to your stage plays. [Stay out of his lane, he's trying to turbo!!!!] I know what I'm doing.

That's the problem - I don't think you do. If I thought you had this handled, and you were going to head for an ending that'd actually make you happy instead of just vaguely less murderous, I wouldn't care!

[sasuke being happy is... such a faraway goal.....]

You're a ninja, so I get that you're stronger than me - but your people skills and emotional stability are way off. Are you seriously content like this....?

That's why you're an idiot. I'm not playing this game to be happy. [It isn't... about making himself happy. Not this, not his end goal especially.] There's no happiness in the darkness of my future.

I'm doing this for something completely different. And I don't care what I have to do to get there.

[senri actually takes a second to think about how sasuke is what takaomi's emo songs are made out of because holy fuck this is not what he expected when he made rice balls and came to see him]

What? You know it doesn't have to be like that, right?

I don't know what it is that you want - but the gods can give anything. They literally brought us here and are about to make their entire world - and your goal is something imperfect that still leaves you alone and miserable?

[wow senri who said he's miserable what gave you that impression]

I'm aware they can give anything. What I asked for wasn't just nothing. [He asked!! for a lot!!

But he does look insulted (again) at Senri trying to dunk on his desires, as if being alone and miserable aren't things he thinks he's fine with.] Just shut up. [If he wasn't looking Senri's way before, he sure is now! He's ready to FITE!] You aren't looking at the bigger picture, idiot! This isn't about me.

This is about helping a god make a world that's equal. One that's fair and safe for everyone! Creating a world like that isn't simple.

[i'm so sorry he's this way, he's fired up]

None of the Kages ever knew how to do it correctly. They were too busy thinking about themselves, about their own "happiness"! They used whoever they wanted to obtain it. They talked peace and then created wars in the ninja world between innocent people!

I'm not going to let that happen--not to a world here, and not back home.

[the funny thing is that senri was trying to hold back for the first half of this conversation. because it has been a long fucking day, and for the last bulk of the trial, the only thing that he felt was sad and hopeless. and when he feels that way, he doesn't like being provoked.

but then sasuke was fucking impossible.

and the more he says, the more it pokes at the part of senri that gets angry.]

How can you be so awful when you have such a noble goal - when we want the same thing?!

[admittedly it was not senri's exact reason for coming here but.]

Who told you that you have to run yourself into the ground just to be able to get what you're working for? What's your problem on relying on other people?

Something that perfect isn't sustainable with just one person trying to make it all work.

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