and he isn't sure how to vocalize that it's because every weekend he is reminded again and again of how easily they can die. and even though they're going to get revived at the end, that moment where someone targets you and you can see death approaching--
it's terrifying, and taka escaped it, but he might not escape it next time. senri might now.
so it seems so pointless to waste time hiding behind a lie. ]
[and senri is just going to laugh quietly at that, nuzzling against taka's cheek because he can't quite understand his complicated feelings. it's gross because senri's face is probably still warm and damp from the tears but]
.... I am.
But you're smart.
And you make up for the places that I can't, so... there are things we can do together.
[ . . . . senri just shakes his head and presses his face into taka's shoulder again]
... it's not enough.
No matter what I give people to start, it's not enough. If... If I had Ray-kun around, or Jude-kun, or Zo - they could've fit together all the pieces I couldn't get to click, I bet.
Like Catra was right. I've been with Merriment for the longest, and I haven't prevented a single murder from happening. I've done nothing useful. So I need to be better than what I am.
[senri pauses at that - and automatically shakes his head.]
No way. If you hadn't seen what happened at the carnival, you wouldn't have been able to tell Ishirin-san, and Mizuki-san wouldn't have been able to keep us on track.
If you weren't there to save Ruin from Luna, we wouldn't have even been able to get the person who hurt Fortune in the first place.
If you hadn't come up with the code with Ray-kun, and been able to tell us what all the symbols meant, we could've been in even worse trouble.
I wouldn't know half of the things that I do - without you. I wouldn't have found the other Ambitions, if it wasn't for you.
[ it looks like he's about to say something, but then he closes his mouth and lets a moment pass. ]
I could say the same thing about you.
I would have never told Ishikirimaru or Ray anything if it wasn't for you. I'd probably still have been doing all of that by myself, and I could be dead right now, if it wasn't for your influence.
You brought so many people together who may not have done so on your own. You've given us information and motivation. Just because you haven't done every single thing perfectly doesn't mean you've failed.
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... I....
[he just looks nervous again]
You could... get in trouble because of me....
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[senri will just lean in to give him another kiss, soft but tentative]
... if that's what you want from me, it's not like I can say no....
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[ he'll easily stomp on his own feelings for senri. ]
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and settles so he can rest his hand on taka's shoulder]
... you just let me cry all over you for an hour....
I think I owe you a favor - so I guess that can be going public, if you want.
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[ there's a pause, and then he shakes his head. ]
Forget I said anything.
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.... Taka...
[he'll peer up at him]
... I didn't mean it like that.
I want what you want...
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Just-- I shouldn't have brought it up after trial. We can talk about something else.
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move to crawl on top of taka instead, leaning down to press their lips together again]
... you're so stupid.
I'll always take an excuse to kiss you, if you'll let me.
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and he isn't sure how to vocalize that it's because every weekend he is reminded again and again of how easily they can die. and even though they're going to get revived at the end, that moment where someone targets you and you can see death approaching--
it's terrifying, and taka escaped it, but he might not escape it next time. senri might now.
so it seems so pointless to waste time hiding behind a lie. ]
You're stupid.
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.... I am.
But you're smart.
And you make up for the places that I can't, so... there are things we can do together.
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You're not actually stupid. You're one of the smartest and most useful people here.
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What.... Did you get hit in the head overnight or something?
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[ taka please don't call senri out on being a bad student while complimenting him ]
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... it's not enough.
No matter what I give people to start, it's not enough. If... If I had Ray-kun around, or Jude-kun, or Zo - they could've fit together all the pieces I couldn't get to click, I bet.
[and he's blinking back tears again]
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And you're not the only person in trial, Senri. It's not your job to figure out everything on your own.
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and falters, if only because... he's used to doing so much on his own]
.... it's easier to focus on myself, than expect everyone else to do better.
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[ every single one of them. ]
Like Catra was right. I've been with Merriment for the longest, and I haven't prevented a single murder from happening. I've done nothing useful. So I need to be better than what I am.
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No way. If you hadn't seen what happened at the carnival, you wouldn't have been able to tell Ishirin-san, and Mizuki-san wouldn't have been able to keep us on track.
If you weren't there to save Ruin from Luna, we wouldn't have even been able to get the person who hurt Fortune in the first place.
If you hadn't come up with the code with Ray-kun, and been able to tell us what all the symbols meant, we could've been in even worse trouble.
I wouldn't know half of the things that I do - without you. I wouldn't have found the other Ambitions, if it wasn't for you.
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I could say the same thing about you.
I would have never told Ishikirimaru or Ray anything if it wasn't for you. I'd probably still have been doing all of that by myself, and I could be dead right now, if it wasn't for your influence.
You brought so many people together who may not have done so on your own. You've given us information and motivation. Just because you haven't done every single thing perfectly doesn't mean you've failed.