usogi | [ let senri & zoe kumbayah ]

[ . . . . ]

Chuuya-san was nice to me. He told me a lot of stuff, actually. I couldn't really trust him with anything in return but...

Ah, I feel bad now.

...It’s hard to know who to trust here.

[It’s a gentle way to say that he shouldn’t blame himself or feel bad.]

... you're not wrong.

[senri pauses before continuing to make tea]

He was with Sincerity. I know he told everyone he was leaving Disorder, but he told me that he was going to Sincerity - and he invited me to go with him. I told him I'd think about it....

So Sincerity is the god that Disorder hates the most.

That makes sense, since Disorder pretty much lies all the time. Of course Sincerity doesn’t like her.

[She sighs, though.]

Hey, Senri?

[he tilts his head]

Zo...?

—Sen, sorry. I’m not used to nicknames.

[Back to her original point, though...]

You know there’s nothing to feel bad about, right?

.... that's a little harder to agree with....

[four people are dead? he thinks there's plenty to feel bad about]

But you didn’t do anything wrong.

[that kind of feeling bad, at least.]

[ . . . . ]

I think I have to work harder, Zo.

[Her instinct is to deny that, but... She’ll hear him out instead.]

Why?

Four people are dead - and they'll come back, as far as I know. They're not like Uchiha-san or Shiks, who...

[who are already gone.]

But it's causing a lot of suffering... and I don't like that no matter how much I run around, no matter how many people I talk to, the game isn't over yet.

[After she processes that:]

Okay. So you’re blaming everyone else who hasn’t fixed this, either?

Nope.

[and he turns to her with a tired look]

I know what you're going to say. It doesn't make sense then - if I'm not blaming you, or Bakaomi, or anyone else, then why am I blaming myself?

... but I guess it's because I'm the only person I can control. And that means I feel guilty, even if it doesn't make sense.

And not being able to control everyone else is part of the problem in the first place.

[The look she gives him is both sympathetic and fond.]

It was already pretty obvious you have higher standards for yourself than for everyone else. I think you just... Need to get out of your own head. Which is way easier said than done.

[he huffs out a laugh then, exhausted but gently amused]

Maybe we should do another face mask.

[A forced laugh of her own.]

Is that the only thing you do to relax?

To be honest... I miss being on a stage. I miss performing for people, and making them laugh, and watching them enjoy themselves with the story I'm telling.

I play video games too? Things like that...

[A thoughtful pause, and then—]

Do all of your performances involve music?

Not really. I've done normal performances too - and rakugo, if you've ever heard of it. That's a one man solo performance kind of thing.

[Without hesitation, she holds out her hand.]

Then come on. There might not be a stage, but there’s a dance studio, right?

[senri can't help the smile that tugs at his lips then as he takes her hand easily]

Hm? What are you planning, Zo?

You said you don’t need music, so... If you want to perform, there are a ton of things you can do that won’t break the rules, right? And you’ve always got an audience.

[ . . . . and senri just huffs a little laugh at that]

You don't have anything better to do, Zo?

Other than sit around and think about how much this situation sucks? No.

[She tilts her head towards the door for a moment, indicating that they should leave.]

[and senri will manage a faint laugh at that]

Okay - got a preference? On a scene? If it's something I know we can find out if I can do it from memory.

[he probably can because he has one braincell and it's for his career]

(no subject)

requiemed - 2019-03-03 01:53 (UTC) - Expand