[he's in the luxurious bathroom of an east wing suite, turning something over in his hands. there's a light furrow in his brow as he brings the bath bomb close to his face and sniffs.
he's also mumbling to himself.]
. . . the difference? For that matter, what's the point? One rule isn't going to change everyone's mind all of a sudden. Who can relax at a crucial time like this . . .
[being too deep in his own thoughts, shang qinghua snaps back to reality in a fright.
his hands jerk on reflex, tossing the bath bomb into the air; it bounces off the crown of his head and lands behind him, only to get bounced around some more when he spins around and accidentally kicks it against the tub. after a series of ricochets, the bath bomb miraculously winds up at senri's feet.
[shang qinghua's eyes flicker to the bath bomb in senri's possession, then to senri's face. his smile widens.]
This one is fine. Seeing all these unfamiliar things and places must be starting to overwhelm me. Soon, this contest will end and that won't matter anymore.
... well I'm trying to find out. But Cheri said that if he wins, he'll let Ray-kun's wish get granted in place of mine. I'm going to talk to the other gods... I told you, right? That depending on who wins, they can choose to grant wishes for other people even not on their team.
I'd like it if Ray-kun's was one of the wishes that got granted no matter what. That... That means the most to me. More than anything.
[and his hands ball into fists, as his voice wavers with emotion, and then he shakes his head as if to get himself to calm down again]
... why do you ask, Shang-san? I... My wish means a lot to me... but it's something that I can still hope to accomplish for myself, once I leave this place.
I'd rather do what I can to make sure other people get their wishes granted instead. As many as possible.
[the more senri says, the quieter shang qinghua becomes. a question has been asked, and he doesn't answer it in favor of lifting his head to watch senri's body language.
[it's a quiet, fragile question and senri crosses his arms in front of him but might be just as much trying to hold himself together]
... some wishes are bigger than others. Some people here have very big wishes. They want to bring back the dead. They want to help the entire universe. Those... Those are amazing wishes.
And then when you have a wish as small as mine....
It's selfish that I'm still here, when Ray-kun isn't. People are protecting me, and I'm letting them. They're trying to keep me from being scared, and I'm letting them.
Me being here is selfish. Trying to help everyone out is... my attempt at even getting close to balancing that.
A selfish person wouldn't keep the wishes and feelings of those around them so close to heart. In pursuing this balance, haven't you proven that you're the opposite?
[in other words, recognizing that selfishness and then doing something about it makes all the difference.]
Shang-san, you're a Peak Lord, right? That means you have a lot of people who must pay attention to you? That will just naturally pay attention to what you're doing...?
My reputation as a Peak Lord isn't so lofty. I specialize in logistics; compared to my fellow sect brothers and sisters, I might as well not have a presence.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 7, monday
he's also mumbling to himself.]
. . . the difference? For that matter, what's the point? One rule isn't going to change everyone's mind all of a sudden. Who can relax at a crucial time like this . . .
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[senri's a little worried, tilting his head as he pokes his head in]
Bath bombs are meant to be soothing, you know...?
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his hands jerk on reflex, tossing the bath bomb into the air; it bounces off the crown of his head and lands behind him, only to get bounced around some more when he spins around and accidentally kicks it against the tub. after a series of ricochets, the bath bomb miraculously winds up at senri's feet.
shang qinghua's smile is slightly strained.]
That's a bath bomb? I do not know what a bomb is.
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... um, when you put this in water, it'll turn into soap and bubbles! Lots of colors and a really nice smell.
[senri picks it up and
offers up a soft smile]
... I hope that this isn't what's causing you grief, though. Do you wanna talk about it? You seem kind of... burdened.
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This one is fine. Seeing all these unfamiliar things and places must be starting to overwhelm me. Soon, this contest will end and that won't matter anymore.
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Well... it matters right now, right? Since you're still here.
It sounds like you have a lot on your mind... I thought you'd be happier, since Bambi's winning again and all.
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Nito Senri, how much does your wish mean to you?
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Not that much anymore, since I gave up on it.
I'm carrying Ray-kun's instead now.
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[he nearly blurts out, why? instead, he bites his tongue.]
Such a thing is possible?
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I'd like it if Ray-kun's was one of the wishes that got granted no matter what. That... That means the most to me. More than anything.
[and his hands ball into fists, as his voice wavers with emotion, and then he shakes his head as if to get himself to calm down again]
... why do you ask, Shang-san? I... My wish means a lot to me... but it's something that I can still hope to accomplish for myself, once I leave this place.
I'd rather do what I can to make sure other people get their wishes granted instead. As many as possible.
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as many as possible, huh?]
You're really selfless, you know that?
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[it's a quiet, fragile question and senri crosses his arms in front of him but might be just as much trying to hold himself together]
... some wishes are bigger than others. Some people here have very big wishes. They want to bring back the dead. They want to help the entire universe. Those... Those are amazing wishes.
And then when you have a wish as small as mine....
It's selfish that I'm still here, when Ray-kun isn't. People are protecting me, and I'm letting them. They're trying to keep me from being scared, and I'm letting them.
Me being here is selfish. Trying to help everyone out is... my attempt at even getting close to balancing that.
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A selfish person wouldn't keep the wishes and feelings of those around them so close to heart. In pursuing this balance, haven't you proven that you're the opposite?
[in other words, recognizing that selfishness and then doing something about it makes all the difference.]
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[ . . . . ]
Shang-san, you're a Peak Lord, right? That means you have a lot of people who must pay attention to you? That will just naturally pay attention to what you're doing...?
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My reputation as a Peak Lord isn't so lofty. I specialize in logistics; compared to my fellow sect brothers and sisters, I might as well not have a presence.
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[ . . . . ]
Sorry, for making that assumption. It's... You always sound really proud of it, and I thought that it sounded like a really cool and noble thing.
You work really hard... I thought it was the sort of thing that would definitely get more attention.
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Can I ask about your wish, Shang-san? Why you're here...? There has to be something you want, right?
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However, my wish doesn't qualify as being very big, so it's not worth discussing.
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... that's okay.
I'd still want to hear it, if you'll let me.
We're friends, right? And friends support each other. Big and small.
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If you feel that strongly about it, I'll tell you.
[he gulps, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat.]
That is, my wish . . . is to return to my home.
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Where's that?
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Without divine intervention, I have no hope of ever going back. Really, I should have given up on this wish a long time ago.
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No way... Don't give up.
You're so close, Shang-san.
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Don't worry. Despite what I said, I'm not going to give up.
As for you, is nothing going to convince you about your nature?
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