usogi | [ canonmates who don't trust each other for shit babey ]

I can break curfew. Last night I left and went to the woods in the west wing. There were two people on the ice at the pond, and the ice broke and they both fell through it.

[ he actually looks up at that. ]

[oh my fucking god]

Do...

Do you know who?

No. They were too far away... one was carrying the other. I guess they were knocked out? Or something, I dunno. But that one suddenly started moving, and they fought, and the ice broke.

[ he pauses again. ]

By the time I reached the pond there was no sign of them.

[ . . . . jesus christ.

Senri pauses for a second, and then he'll shuffle so it's easier for him to wrap his arms around taka, and hold him close.]

... I won't tell anyone. I...

[his voice wavers for a second and he has to take a second to just let out a breath]

.... Sorry. That you had to see that. Sorry I wasn't with you....

[he can't imagine what taka is going through right now??]

Mm.

[ there's a lot he could probably say, but he can't really settle on anything. so he just focuses on listening to senri's heartbeat for a moment. ]

I just need to clear my head.

[it's a little too fast, and feels a little too painful, but his heart is still definitely beating.]

.... okay.

Whatever you need.

[ . . . ]

Want me to make a burger...?

[ there's a sound that could be a laugh, but it's not quite there. ]

I'm not that hungry.

[ . . . . and senri just nods before burying his face in taka's hair.]

.... let me know if you change your mind.

[ . . . ]

I don't really wanna go anywhere right now.

I don't either.

[ although he knows they'll have to eventually. ]

... sorry. For dumping this on you.

[ senri would probably be much happier not knowing about it. ]

.... we're partners, aren't we?

[and he smiles faintly, even if his heart isn't entirely in it.]

I would've been extra angry if you didn't tell me.

So more like... thanks for trusting me with this. I...

I don't know what to say again. And I don't know how to make it better. But I'm really glad that you're not carrying it alone.

[ he actually hadn't decided to even tell senri until right before he did. because logically, it makes sense to let someone else know what happened, and senri's the only person to.

and senri said he'd try to be more truthful.

and taka didn't consider that it might make this dead feeling in him feel a little lighter, or that talking about it might ease him in any way. but senri's arms are warm and even if his heartbeat is still erratic, it kind of sounds like a lullaby right now. ]

... mm. [ ... ] I'll do better next time.

[ . . . . senri is quiet for a second before he just murmurs]

... It's not your fault. I know you tried. And I know you take on a lot of this stuff on yourself....

[is that what it's like to be a detective? to feel like you're responsible for solving everything?]

Don't blame yourself. Please.

[ he isn't sure how to explain the feeling of seeing that there's four dead and that you could have maybe halved that number if you had maybe been a little faster, a little smarter-- ]

... just make sure you always stay with me on curfew night.

[ senri has been staying with him anyway, but taka doesn't want to force him to every single day. he has friends. maybe he'll make plans with others. ]

[he wishes he could explain how much he hates this - maybe it comes in the way that his arms hold onto taka a little tighter. his voice is wobbly when he speaks again, but he tries to get all the words out.]

.... my god lets me turn clothes into armor. I know it's not much but -

If you're going to keep doing scary stuff like going on your own during curfew, let me help you too, okay?

[Let me protect you too.]

That was going to be my next guess.

[ it made sense, if shiki was going to join sincerity after she and senri made some sort of pact.

he sighs. ]

Don't waste it on me. I want you protected.

... I won't be much use to anyone if something happens to you.

[and he doesn't want to think about it. so he breathes out.]

What's the point of me having battle armor if you're gonna be awake anyway? It won't be a waste. So don't tell me what to do - and just make sure you stay safe.

[ he frowns. there's enough people surrounding senri that taka thinks he'll be fine. but he also knows there's no use arguing that

so instead he shifts slightly so he can hold onto him. ]

I should be saying that to you, moron.

[oh.

senri pauses when taka holds onto him too, and maybe his heart beats a little faster? he shakes his head and stubbornly puts his face back in taka's hair before he thinks about how his cheeks feel warmer]

.... I'll be okay, idiot.

... good.

[ he knows that just saying that doesn't mean much in the end.

but he accepts the words nonetheless. ]

You have to win this, stupid.

[ . . . ]

You know that you do too, right? We both do.

Don't make it sound like it just has to be me...

[ one of the things that the... experience left him with was a feeling of just how very easily someone can slip out of your grasp.

none of them will remain dead when this is over. but he decided, more firmly than ever, that he's going to make sure senri gets that prize without having to die. ]

... uh huh. We're a team.

[ . . . ]

Yeah.

[and he'll settle for continuing to hold taka close, as if the two of them being together will keep them from shattering separately]

[ eventually they both have to actually get up and go out and make rounds.

so it's later in the evening. taka is back in the room, sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. it's all good he's just chilling. he hasn't taken the jacket off yet. ]

[senri is....

tired.

but he's also clingy, so he sits down on the floor next to taka and immediately leans against him]

.... Majima-san is with Indulgence.

Yu-kun is with Love, for sure.

Nonon-san might be with Love.

Hector-san is probably with Ruin.

And there's a separate task that you, me, and Ray-kun are gonna split next week.

[ he just nods his head along, but pauses at that last bit. ]

What's the task?

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