[ senri & ray are not okay ]

[usogi]

Comments

[usogi]

[ . . . . ]

Ray-kun is always holding onto the worst case scenario.

[selfimmolates]

It makes more sense to.

[usogi]

I know - but that's why I think it's extra important that I have enough faith for the two of us.

[senri please,,]

... I'm nervous, and I'm mad that I can't do anything - but I hope it'll be okay.

[selfimmolates]

[it's infuriating. it hurts. he almost wants to laugh over the absurdity of it all.

instead, he locks all of that down.]

Probably not. We're only on week two of at least six.

[usogi]

.... well, our other options are to lose hope or give up, so I think I'm going to stick with mine.

[ . . . . ]

I... don't think the people are so bad here.

[selfimmolates]

Didn't stop four people from dying this week. Whatever their intentions, people will likely continue to kill.

At the end of the day, from a practical standpoint, it doesn't matter if they're "bad" or not.

[usogi]

... so we work harder.

[ . . . ]

Ishirin-san is going to Merriment specifically so that he can try to keep a watch out for other people, at least....

[selfimmolates]

Using All Nighter? Great, we might have a better idea of who to execute, then.

[usogi]

Uh-huh. I trust him.

[this is so odd to write about a teej character but it's true]

[selfimmolates]

You trust everyone.

[usogi]

.... not everyone.

[he sighs]

Everyone in different levels, maybe. But I do trust Ishirin-san not to suddenly feel like murdering all of us just because.

[selfimmolates]

Mm.

[apparently, ray has no opinion on that.]

[usogi]

[ . . . . . ]

Ray-kun, if you don't tell me why you're making cryptic comments, I can't say anything.

[selfimmolates]

I'm not making cryptic comments. I don't really have an opinion on Ishikirimaru.

[usogi]

You're talking even less than usual.... and being gloomier than usual....

Are you doing okay - after everything?

[selfimmolates]

Of course. All things considered, what with all the culprits being dead, this was pretty much the best outcome we could hope for.

[usogi]

[ . . . ]

You don't have to just think things through logically all the time, you know...

[selfimmolates]

Why?

[usogi]

Because you're a person, not a robot.

And I think even Connor-san has some feelings - even though they mostly hover around 'confused'.

[selfimmolates]

I have feelings. They include being exasperated with you a lot.

More importantly, being logical helps keep me alive. I don't see a reason to change that.

[usogi]

.... I know that - but expressing feelings around me isn't going to get you killed, you know?

Whenever we talk about this kind of thing, you always get as detached as possible... but like you said, we have four more weeks of this....

[selfimmolates]

This is my default state of being. You're expecting me to be something I've never been.

[compared to all the years of his life so far, four weeks is nothing.]

[usogi]

There's always room for growth, you know?

[ . . . ]

But I get it, too. I just thought I'd offer - because sometimes you worry me too.

[as if senri wasn't the one who had a big kerfuffle during trial yesterday]

[selfimmolates]

[he did grow. but the only person he learned to trust like that is in another world entirely, beyond his reach.

and after the events of this week, showing weakness again is the last thing he wants. even if it means being alone, it's better that way.]

Focus more on worrying about yourself.

[usogi]

[he shakes his head at that and easily parrots - ]

You're the one who said that caring isn't a finite resource, right? So I can worry about me, at the same time that I'll worry about you.