usogi | [ canonmates who don't trust each other for shit babey ]

Hey...

[there's a wry smile at that, because he can't just accept it but. senri will just sigh and continue to hold taka close, studying his expression to make sure that he's telling the truth.]

.... okay. If you need anything tomorrow, just... sit next to me.

[because he'll be fucking cold and dying and he can already start to feeling colder, still trembling faintly even underneath all the blankets and against taka but.]

... we'll figure it all out together.

Yeah.

[ it's fine. he just settles more against senri, and he's quiet again after that. ]

Thanks.

[senri offers up a soft smile]

... you don't need to thank me for that.

I'm always going to be here for you - whatever you need or want, I'll make it happen.

I know you're going through your own stuff.

[ takaomi refuses to be the one to outright bring up beauty but

that's still hanging there. ]

So thanks.

[ . . . . . and senri pauses - like he's not going to talk about it for a little bit longer.

and then he sighs.]

... it was a nice dream, but it's not going to work out.

[he reaches up to cup taka's cheek, tilting his head as he watches his expression]

I'm.... just a little bit brokenhearted, maybe - but.... no matter what stupid feelings I go through here....

[he tries to think of a way that he can express this - and decides to go for the nerdiest way, these fucking morons - ]

You're endgame, for me.

[ he blinks in surprise, and then he lets out a breath that he didn't really know he was holding. taka leans in more to the touch, nuzling his cheek into senri's palm. ]

I kinda thought you were gonna dump me.

[ and that he was just delaying it due to the current circumstances. ]

[senri looks noticeably surprised at that, even as he lets his thumb run across taka's cheek - ]

What?

I spoke to Beauty on Tuesday. It was... kind of obvious he had a thing for you.

[ although not obvious to senri, apparently. ]

[ . . . ]

Sorry....

[he actually. doesn't seem to know what to say aside from that?]

It must get tiring - to be patient with me, when all I do is...

[find trouble.]

You're... a lot, but I've known that for months now.

[ before he even liked him as a friend, even. ]

You annoy me, and sometimes you do things without really thinking about them and make a mess, but... I want to be there for all of that, you know. You're worth it.

[it's that overwhelming feeling again. like something is twisting in senri's chest, because he didn't think that he'd ever have anyone that would stay. he didn't think he'd ever had anyone that could still care about him, no matter what mistakes he made, or what lies he told.

he pauses - and he just lets his head fall against taka's shoulder as he thinks about it, quiet and stunned.]

... I wanted - just one someone. Who could still stay with me, no matter how cold it got, or...

[ . . . ]

I think... I got a lot more offers than I was prepared for - to be that someone. People to take care of me....

So I... I'm sorry if I'm still - figuring that out. [how to handle people who like him, somehow, despite his laundry list of faults] But... please stay with me.

I'd like it if I - could always come back to you.

I'll always be here.

[ here, and back home, regardless of if they get their wishes or not. ]

... I don't think I can understand that much. I don't have any friends here. [ it's said with a small, dry laugh ] Ishikirimaru, I think, and Merriment, and...

[ fortune, but she's dead. ]

But it's kind of different with the gods, since they're not in the same position as we are. So you're... kind of the only one that I can...

I'll be here, Senri.

[ . . . . and senri is just quiet, and he lifts his head again to lean in close to taka, his hand tracing along the shape of his jaw, his expression growing thoughtful]

.... Luke-kun really wants to be your friend. He thinks you're really cool - for some reason. [he teases, but follows it with a kiss to taka's cheek] Madopyon likes you a lot, too....

[ . . . ]

You'll always have me.

But I don't want you to feel alone, when I'm not next to you.

[ he's silent for a moment, and his brow furrows, and then, ]

Is that what the crab thing was about...?

[ he. he just thought luke really liked crabs. ]

[ . . . . ]

Crab thing?

He really wanted to catch a crab for me.

[ he'll point over to where the dresser is. there's a sand dollar on it. ]

Luke gave that to me when he couldn't get the crab.

[ . . . . . oh my god.

senri is.

laughing.]

What?

I told him to just talk to you about music and then he'll lose five hours of his life! Why would he do that?

I don't think he knows anything about music.

[ taka's tone is one of disbelief but..... he's biased ]

I don't think so either.

[he tilts his head]

But you could tell him - and I'm sure he'd be happy just to see how excited you get when you talk about something you love.

Hm, maybe...

[ he leans in so he can press a soft kiss to the corner of senri's mouth, then settles back down again. ]

[sdlkfj

hm that's embarrassing. he's flustered? he stares at taka for a moment before glancing away and. yeah he's blushing. god dammit.]

You really...

[yep, there are the dumb butterflies]

Stop distracting me... I'm just saying that people are trying to reach out to you more than you think, so I'd appreciate it if you could try to let them in....

... maybe.

[ he was kind of ready to quit after getting brave enough to confess to senri. that was enough putting himself out there emotionally to last for the next ten years or so, really. ]

I'm not as likable as you are... I won't admit that again.

[ . . . . and senri just laughs faintly at that. he snuggles in closer to taka, if at all possible.]

Only because you're such a jerk at first glance.

.... after that, you're way nicer than me in every way. I feel outclassed by how smart you are. Braver, more thoughtful, more considerate....

No matter how hard I'm trying to get better at it - I'm still... not as honest as I could be.

If people like me, it's just because I'm careful about what they see. People don't have to worry about that with you. I don't... and that's why I like you.

[ oh. his cheeks redden. ]

You need to give yourself more credit, stupid.

[ takaomi hates liars, but even before they came here, he was still drawn to senri. he made a joke to fortune a few days earlier, of how it's an ongoing cosmic joke that he and senri can't move ten feet without running into each other. ]

You deserve all the good things you got.

[ . . . . hah. Senri's brow furrows.]

... I don't think I do....

[because at the end of the day, Taka gives up a lot, for a lot of people. he's giving, and generous. Senri has a habit of taking and taking - and he hasn't managed to break it. maybe because he doesn't want to, as long as he keeps receiving but - ]

... lately I've been trying to do better, so maybe it balances out a little bit.

[even now, he doesn't know how he managed to earn taka's attention, and affection.]

But... I still want to ask - can I kiss you, Takaomi?

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