[ senri & ray are not okay ]

[usogi]

Comments

[selfimmolates]

You want to be upset with him but not the person who actually targeted you?

[usogi]

.... I always thought that Beauty cared about me more than Mizuki-san.

That's why I was so upset.

[selfimmolates]

Why?

[usogi]

... he knows why I want to win. He took my hands and said, even if I'm not his follower, he'll do everything in his power to make my wish come true. He wants to give me everything that I ask for, and feels bad when he has to tell me no. He wants me on his side, of course, but he's always wanted me to be safe and happy more than that.

[senri shrugs helplessly]

He takes really good care of me, even if I'm not his own. .... I think that's part of why I wanted to protect him so badly.

[selfimmolates]

[...]

Caring isn't a limited resource. That he cares for Mizuki as well doesn't necessarily subtract what he feels for you, and vice versa.

[usogi]

Mm, I know. But Mizuki-san never promised to take care of me - so that's why it was easier to forgive them. They're just another participant in this game.

[ . . . ]

Mizuki-san is smart. I think they didn't tell Beauty they wanted to use the power on me on purpose, because they know he cares about me.

[selfimmolates]

Maybe. [...] Why did Mizuki use their power on you to begin with?

[usogi]

Because I didn't tell them who I was aligned with. I was trying to be nice and avoid outright lies, but then we started living together and they decided to just curse me into it instead.

With horrible timing.

In the worst possible way.

That inconvenienced everyone.

[selfimmolates]

[ray's mouth presses into a line for a moment, before he shrugs.]

Well, if there was any trial to waste time on, I guess that one was the right one, seeing as how we were doomed from the start.

[usogi]

.... that's the other thing.

Did you talk to Piety or Ishirin-san?

[selfimmolates]

No. I was busy with other stuff.

[usogi]

[what the fuck]

How? You always talk to the gods at least...!!

[selfimmolates]

That's what I was doing.

[usogi]

Who did you go see, if not Piety....?

[selfimmolates]

[he counts off on his fingers.]

Ruin, Justice, Ambition, and Cunning.

[good coping mechanisms: you can't have issues if you're too busy being terrified!!]

[usogi]

.... why?

[RAY????]

[selfimmolates]

Why not? Three of those were my assigned gods, right?

[usogi]

[oh my god]

... and then Ambition just for fun?

[selfimmolates]

I figured I might as well.

[usogi]

[senri siiiiighs]

I guess.... Well, in that case, I went to Piety and Ishirin-san to figure out what was going on with them.

And I think Ishirin-san found a loophole, so hopefully he'll be okay tomorrow. The rules say that the gods need to lose a follower, not that they need to be removed from play. So he was already going to defect.

[selfimmolates]

Guess we'll see tomorrow.

[usogi]

.... they told me not to do anything.

And Beauty said that I couldn't borrow Above Suspicion for my favor - though I don't know if that's entirely true, or because he wants me to join his team so I can use his power directly. I don't think he'd lie to me, but it sounds like it's one of the rules he's less clear on....

.... and I don't want to get him in trouble, so. I won't try.

[selfimmolates]

Pardoning someone from execution would be a pretty hefty reward. I wasn't really expecting it to work in the first place.

[usogi]

I worked hard and I earned it.

[ . . . ]

And I know Beauty would've wanted to help, if he could've - in that kind of dire situation.

[selfimmolates]

Better not to place your hopes on that kind of thing. It's too unreliable.